just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
