Dignity is for republicans.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
