it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
