Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
