a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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