Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
how does that bad decision feel?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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