you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
