I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize