it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
