i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
