I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
