it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
