that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
