I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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