I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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