i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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