i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
