I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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