ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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