with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
third nipple confirmed
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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