Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
