He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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