I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
