You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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