Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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