When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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