Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
