I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bring me that man meat
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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