if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize