ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
