Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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