i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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