Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
