I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
