She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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