Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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