It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Never let your siblings swipe right.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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