Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
