I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
