my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he thought i was a dude.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
