mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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