And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
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Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing