just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.