i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.