It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.