Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
