My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
