i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I love having hate sex.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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