is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?