Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
