Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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