We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
