she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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