If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Even my vagina gasped.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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