If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
