I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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