She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
