Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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