at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
