how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
