I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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