Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
