my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
