Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
they're like a gay fantastic four
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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