look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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