i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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