Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
