hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
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